By Emily Mukasa
The daily challenges of parenting are not to be taken lightly. Being a single parent is a unique experience that requires an amazing amount of strength and tenacity, especially for the African American male. Males, in general, are stigmatized by society as being incapable of raising children on their own. Yet today, many men are fighting for the right to raise their children, and they are doing a darn good job at being the sole parent. 
“Men tend to accept the ruling of the court. They, too, should fight for custody of their children,” said James Chapman II, a single, divorced father of two, 11-year-old James Chapman III and 14-year-old Nyah Margaret Chapman. James Sr. credits his wisdom to his mother and his father. “If you are a father who was involved in your children’s lives before you separated, it is important that you continue.”
Custody battles involving men who want full custody are becoming more and more frequent. Many people still believe that children survive best under a mother’s care, but some single fathers consider such a belief, “gender-bias,” and are challenging the status quo.
According to John Kalema, a 37-year-old investor and reporting manager who obtained custody of his 13-year-old son, Joseph, from his ex-wife with no court battle, the question of custody should not automatically be an issue for male parents. In Kalema’s opinion, custody assignment should depend on who is more capable of raising the child in a fashion conducive to the child’s long term success and stability.
Carlton Grisby, 32, who shares custody of his daughter, Charissa Grisby, 12, said that he and his daughter enjoy trips abroad and spend a lot of quality time together as a result of the separation from his daughter’s mother.
“I enjoy traveling and doing stuff with my daughter. If I was dating and trying to impress, I would have to take money away from my family,” Grisby said.
Despite these happy moments, being a single dad has its pressures too, as, for example, when the child fails to draw the line between father and friend. “When you tell them to clean the room, they forget who is giving them the rules,” Said Kalema. “Your kids need you and you need to make the sacrifices.”
The one thing that all single Dads seem to agree on is that being a single father is an act of the heart. “True parenting means always being in the child’s life from the moment they are born through adulthood. Capture every moment of your child’s early years that you can,” said Kalema.