Caring Men Contribute To Confident Children
Programs Help Fathers Be Strong Male Role Models


By Darvi Brooks

Counselors, therapists, advocates and pastors have found that children fare far better in their development when they have fathers or strong male mentors actively involved in their lives.  Results from the survey, “What Grown-ups Understand About Child Development,” revealed that children with fathers in their lives are more self-confident and better problem-solvers.
Through boisterous and interactive play with children, fathers do more than entertain, according to the Institute for the Study of Civil Society, a London-based social issues research and education center. By playing with children, fathers assist mothers and provide a safe and challenging environment for the child to solve problems and learn to interact with the world and others, the institute found. Consequently, fathers can make significant, unique contributions to their child’s emotional, social and intellectual development.
The U.S. government has distributed $50 million in various grants to a federal program called the Responsible Fatherhood Initiative, designed to fund organizations at the state level to provide services that bring and keep fathers in their children’s lives. The largest grants of $10 million each, to be disbursed over a five-year period, were assigned to Community Access programs, one in Washington, D.C. and the other in Colorado. 
“The government works on the assumption that if you can get a man to be intimately engaged with his kids and develop a healthy relationship with the wife or co-parenting with the mother of the children, he’ll stay more engaged and be positive for the child,” explains Rich Batten, the family and fatherhood specialist who runs the Responsible Fatherhood Initiative program at the Colorado Department of Human Services.
Maggie Spain, account manager for the fatherhood program, says she’s heard “time and time again that a lot of dads don’t know there are programs to help them. We are trying to raise this awareness [because] it’s a matter of making a difference and making an impact.” 
The agency reaches out to communities to connect those in need with grant-funded service providers. These organizations target fathers in at-risk populations, which are low-income families, teens, incarcerated and non-custodial fathers, fathers with disabilities or with children with disabilities, homeless dads, dads in foster care, Spanish-speaking fathers, fathers about to go in and just released from prison, and first-time expectant fathers.  Participation by the fathers must be voluntary. Services include counseling, mentoring, parenting and marriage classes, financial assistance and cultural adjustment services for refugee newcomers.
The Lowry Family Center is one of 23 family resource centers located throughout Colorado. Their Project Proud Fatherhood program assists fathers in overcoming barriers by providing a full spectrum of support and guidance, starting with assessment of the father’s strengths and needs and then plan development and implementation. 
Fatherhood Advocate Troy Grimes and Executive Director Kathy Hill-Young rebuke the myth that fathers don’t care, and refrain from using the term “dead-beat dads.”
“I began to see a trend 5 to 6 years ago in our family center, where fathers were coming in with great despair about not being part of their children’s lives,” Hill-Young says.  “Many were paying their child support and not able to see their children. This tells me that we have a lot of systems work to do.”
She says her experience is that “fathers run into opposition just because they’re paternal.”
Grimes, who works with social workers at Montbello High School in a mentoring program for teen fathers, says, “I see young men without fathers or male role models growing up too fast.”
The resultant aberrant behavior “is really a mask for fear and lack of feeling safe. It’s the same with young ladies even more so. When they’re missing the male role model in their lives, they’ll look for it someplace else,” he explains.
The Lowry Family Center also offers advocacy services, financial assistance, daycare and a myriad of classes designed to build healthy relationships between biological parents.
Hill-Young says, “When there’s drama between the mommas and the daddies, we are very skilled at bringing those folks together and saying, ’you might not like each other but we need to work through this to benefit your child.’”
She notes the importance of pairing a father with a service provider that will meet their specific needs, and for this reason, the networking between organizations is strong.  She explains, “If we aren’t the perfect match to get the father help, we will quickly and gladly make a referral.”
Lifelong Adult Education Services, also an award recipient of Community Access funds, receives referrals to assist fathers with disabilities and fathers with children with disabilities. Disabilities are not just physical but can include mental and cognitive disorders, ranging from developmental delays to autism or downs syndrome and bi-polar disorder or schizophrenia. These disabilities can create unique and often more difficult challenges to families.
“Unlike in a wheelchair, where someone would open the door for them, with hidden disabilities no door is open,” says David Kalis, who works directly with this population.
Families with disabilities have a higher incidence of divorce than families without, he adds.
Fathers with hidden disabilities usually have problems with time-management and problem-solving skills. Kalis says a disabled parent may appear to understand what is being said, but they may not be able to process it or remember it, which can prove detrimental in a situation involving their child. 
Rather than just advocating for parents, the Lifelong Adult Education Services Center helps individuals learn how to advocate for themselves.
Brenda Fabian is the executive clinical director of HOMEBASETreatment and Contracting Services, which responds to emergencies with crisis intervention.  The staff responded to the Columbine shootings, the World Trade Towers and Oklahoma City bombings. They are currently contracted with numerous local law enforcement agencies and frequently called upon in incidents of domestic violence.
“When there is volatility between mom and dad, chances are great that there was domestic violence involved, so we would meet with those individuals individually,” Fabian says.
Services focus on anger management, parenting issues and communication.  Her staff is also trained to counsel fathers with substance-abuse issues. Therapists meet with the father or parents, and conduct a needs assessment, then teach tools to promote healthier relationships with attention to details about the father’s childhood.
“There can be a genetic predisposition to substance abuse and mental health issues,” Fabian says.  “What you learn from your environment, you repeat.” 
HOMEBASE works to re-train parents to unlearn patterns that have been embedded through a lifetime, through both office-based and at-home counseling services.
“If barriers can be reduced, like lack of transportation to get help, that’s huge, especially to a man who feels there’s been no services and no assistance his entire life,” she says.
Fabian notices that it isn’t fathers not wanting to be involved with their children, but that oftentimes they can’t do what the courts and social services agencies ask, “so they just kind of disappear because it’s too big of a burden,” she says.
“We believe in the role of fathers in play with their children” she says, so HOMEBASE supports fathers having fun with their children while offering more formal services like job readiness training. “We encourage fathers to just have fun playing and spending time with their child.” 
But the organization’s bottom line is teaching any male role model to be a positive influence in a child’s life, she emphasizes.

Editor’s note: For more information, go online to www.coloradodads.com or call 1.877.695.7996.

Return To Top

Copyright 2008 © Denver Urban Spectrum. All rights reserved.