Akeelah and the Bee
•••
At-Risk Adolescent Spells Her Way Straight In Inspirational Melodrama

Although Akeelah Anderson (Keke Palmer) once exhibited enough academic promise to skip the second grade, the previously precocious adolescent has been underachieving as of late. Despite being blessed with tremendous potential, the unmotivated 11 year-old has recently been behaving like a juvenile delinquent: skipping classes, speaking with slang and generally dumbing herself down just to be accepted by her best friend, Georgia (Sahara Garey), and her other classmates at her dilapidated school located in the heart of the ghetto in South Central Los Angeles.
As an at-risk kid, Akeelah frequently finds herself in trouble with Mr. Welch (Curtis Armstrong), the principal of Crenshaw Middle School. Fortunately for her, he recognizes that the underlying problem is that there’s been an absence of a real role model in Akeelah’s life on a day-to-day basis, since her father was murdered in cold blood five years ago.
Her mother (Angela Bassett) is well-meaning, but simply too busy working to keep a roof over the family’s head, to pay much attention. Meanwhile, her big sister, Kiana (Erica Hubbard), is a teenage-mom with a newborn baby, and her big brother, Devon (Lee Thompson Young), is presently a paratrooper in the Air Force.
Akeelah’s fondest childhood memory is of playing Scrabble with her father, a practice which she has secretly continued alone on her computer and which explains why she’s something of a spelling savant. Aware of this untapped talent, Principal Welch prods his budding prodigy to enter the school’s spelling bee, attended by Dr. Larabee (Laurence Fishburne), a tweedy English professor and ex-spelling champ himself.
After Akeelah wins easily, she’s encouraged to prepare for the citywide competition with the goal of qualifying for the Scripps National Bee in Washington, D.C. But she balks, asking, “Why would anybody want to represent a school that can’t even put doors on its bathroom stalls?” Plus, she knows she’ll be competing with rich white kids whose parents can afford coaches.
Conveniently, Dr. Larabee not only resides right in the “hood,” but he also happens to be on sabbatical, and is thus available to whip Akeelah into world-class spelling shape, ala The Karate Kid’s Mr. Miyagi. Like Miyagi, Larabee is a no-nonsense disciplinarian with a green thumb who’s in mourning.
As they prepare for the big day, Akeelah find a spelling nemesis in Dylan Chiu (Sean Michael), an Asian kid from across the tracks whose overbearing father wants to win more than his son. But she makes a friend from upscale Woodland Hills, too, in Javier (J.R. Villarreal), a less-competitive flirt who invites her to his birthday party.
When Crash arrived in theaters almost exactly a year ago, I remarked in my review that it was easily the best picture released in 2005 to that point. The same can be said for this crowd-pleaser. Any parents wondering why they don’t make wholesome family flicks anymore can stop wondering. Without ever hitting a false note, and pausing for a few lighter moments along the way, this touching tale shares a bounty of uplifting messages while taking you on an emotional roller coaster ride guaranteed to leave you wiping away the tears, and on more than one occasion.

Rating: PG for some profanity.
Running time: 112 minutes
Studio: Lions Gate Films

ATL
••• 1/2

T.I. Makes Impressive Screen Debut In Coming-Of-Age Flick Set In His Hometown Of Atlanta

Ever since his parents died in a car accident, Rashad (Tip “T.I.” Harris) has had to put his dream of becoming a cartoonist on hold in order to handle the responsibility of raising his younger brother, Ant (Evan Ross), practically single-handedly. For although their Uncle George (Mykelti Williamson) did move in with his suddenly orphaned nephews, he’s proven to be more of a hindrance than a help, since he won’t contribute to the upkeep of their row house on the south side of Atlanta.
Therefore, 17 year-old Rashad works two part-time jobs just to make ends meet, one as a janitor, the other, as a cashier at Cascade, the local roller skating rink where everybody in the hood hangs out. Rashad’s personal posse includes trash-talking Brooklyn (Albert Daniels), a brother who always has to remind folks that he’s from New York; Esquire (Jackie Long) an A-student who has his sights set on an Ivy League school; and Teddy (Jason Weaver), a high school dropout who fits customers for gold grills at a capped tooth emporium.
At the point of departure, Rashad, a senior, already has his hands full between paying the bills and trying to graduate on time. But, the plot thickens by a trio of developments. First, his crew decides to enter the big skating competition which is coming up in five weeks. Then, Rashad has his head turned by New-New (Lauren London), a mysterious girl from the other side of the tracks who flirts with him when he’s at work behind the counter. And finally, Ant drifts into drug-dealing, seduced by a slick operator’s (Big Boi) promises of easy money.
So, these are the assorted themes explored by ATL, which was loosely based on the early lives of TLC’s T-Boz and music mogul Dallas Austin. Hip-hop video director Chris Robinson (Jay-Z, Busta Rhymes, Snoop Dogg, etcetera) makes a smooth transition to the big screen here, toning down some of the gangsta’ rap genre’s seamier elements while serving up a very positive message.
Just as impressive is the cast assembled to execute this subplot laden script, starting with renowned rapper Tip “T.I.” Harris who makes his acting debut in the lead role of Rashad. Other equally-refreshing first-timers include Evan Ross (Diana’s son) as his rebellious brother, Lauren London as his bourgie babe girlfriend who’s secretly slumming, and Albert Daniels as the motor-mouth from The Big Apple. Veteran actors Keith David and Lonette McKee turn in fine performances as New-New’s parents, and hip-hoppers Big Boi, Bone Crusher and Jazze Pha lend their street cred to help create an air of authenticity around Atlanta’s version of the Ghetto Fabulous.
Be forewarned, despite this critic’s stamp of approval, this film does trade in misogyny, profanity, the N-word, violence and drug use. So this is not exactly appropriate for impressionable young minds, despite the kid-friendly PG-13 rating. 
The dialogue is laced with language which reflects the region’s inclination to turn a colorful phrase. For instance, one woman’s rounded rump is referred to as being “an ass better than a swamp possum with the mumps.” Who knows what that means, but it sure is imaginative. Or how about, “She opened up like a can of pig feet.” The cinematography is distinctly Southern in nature, too, filling the screen with shots not only of Atlanta’s slums, but of such iconic images as the Confederate Flag, cotton fields, and a slave plantation.
By the time the curtain comes down on ATL, all the loose ends have been addressed, even if we don’t quite get to see how each of the principals managed to arrive at such ideal scenarios. A tip of the cap to Tip Harris and Lauren London, for it is their chemistry and charm which allows one to believe in their tenderhearted romance in an atmosphere where women are regarded as objects and affectionately called “bitches” and “hos.”

Rating: PG-13 for sex, expletives, ethnic slurs, violence and drugs.
Running time: 105 minutes
Studio: Warner Brothers

The Whore's Son
(Hurensohn)
••• 1/2

It’s Hard Out There for a Ho, Too
           
At the age of only 3 years old, Ozren (Stanislav Lisnic) was abandoned by his father (Robert Ritter) when the old man ran out of the house in a fit of rage after an argument with his mother (Chulpan Khamatova). The innocent boy was way too young to have any idea what the break-up was about.
For whatever reason, he and his mom had to leave their native Yugoslavia for Austria, where she soon started working nights, supposedly as a waitress. In truth, she had turned to prostitution and they were living above the bordello where she was employed.
This is the point of departure of The Whore’s Son, an ill-fated, Oedipal melodrama based on the novel of the same name by Gabriel Loidolt. As the film unfolds, we see that Ozren’s childhood was not exactly ideal, despite the presence of a couple of respectable role models. For the troubled lad learned a lot about God from his Aunt Ljiljana (Ina Gogálová), and about the ways of the world from his Uncle Ante (Miki Manojlovic).
The problem is that Ozren finds himself inexplicably ostracized by classmates and picking up hints about his mother’s true line of work from cruel strangers who curse at him and call him the son of a streetwalker. Worse, he’s disappointed when she fails to show up for school functions like his Christmas pageant. Ultimately, his nagging suspicions are confirmed when his pal Pepi (Georg Friedrich) finds a peephole through which to watch his mother service customers.
Thus begins a slow descent into depravity for Ozren, who, by the time he‘s a typical horny teenager, craves a mother he can’t touch, although she’s readily available to any other male around. There’s no nice way out of a sick scenario like this, which leads to messy matricide proving it’s hard out there for a ho, too.

Unrated 
In German with subtitles
Running time: 85 minutes
Studio: Picture This Entertainment

Phat Girlz
•

Plus-Sized Sisters Find Acceptance In Africa In Cross-Cultural Romantic Comedy

Jazmin Biltmore (Mo’Nique) is at war with the world. This plus-sized sister’s problems start with the fact that she works at a posh, L.A. clothing boutique frequented by thin women, and as Jazmin puts it, “I hate skinny bitches!” and it doesn’t help that she “ain’t been laid in nine months” while most of her customers are accompanied by Black men.
“If I see another brother with a white girl, I swear I’m gonna shoot somebody,” she informs her equally-plump, best friend, Stacey (Kendra Johnson), just before another such couple shows up and an ugly scenes ensues. 
Jazmin is further frustrated by the fact that she can’t lose weight, despite trying every diet under the sun, and by strangers who feel free to pick on her just because of her size.
Luckily, she’s irrepressibly sassy and great at trading insults, so she’s quick to counter any criticism, like the lip she gets from the cashier at a Fatassburger Restaurant who objected to her ordering an unhealthy meal. “You’re so ugly, your birth certificate is an apology letter,” she responds, followed by, “You’re so ugly, your momma got morning sickness after you were born.”
Jazzmin’s hope for happiness rests with achieving two elusive dreams: first, finding a clothing manufacturer willing to take a chance on a line she’s designed with big women in mind; and second, finding a mate who’ll accept her just as she is. This is the point of departure of Phat Girlz, a film which unfortunately fails to do a decent job of convincing the audience of its basic premise that being morbidly obese is a condition which deserves to be celebrated.
Sure, Jazzmin is quick to announce that “PHAT” stands for “Pretty Hot And Thick” or that “FAT” stands for “Full And Tasty” or “Fluffy And Tender,” yet conventional wisdom suggests that she’d be a lot better off not arrogantly over-indulging in so much junk food. In any case, her knight in shining armor arrives in the person of Tunde (Jimmy Jean-Louis), a “spear-throwing, lion-hunting Mandingo with a big [bleep].”
Tunde, an M.D. from Nigeria, is in America with a couple of colleagues for a medical convention. He meets Jazzmin who won a vacation for three at the same Palm Springs resort. The African trio lavish their attentions on her and Stacey, while ignoring curvy, “malnourished” Mia (Joyful Drake) because in their culture, the bigger the better, since size determines a female’s social status.
Though sparks fly between Jazzmin and Tunde, the romance can’t blossom due to the dictates of the Hollywood three-act formula. The illogical script has the grateful gal sabotaging the budding relationship and focusing on her designer career until she wises up and makes her way to the motherland with hopes of reconciliation.
Other than trash-talking Monique’s playing the dozens, there’s not much funny to recommend about this preposterously-plotted picture, unless you count  the god-awful makeup job performed by Kristina Frisch on virtually every actor. She must have gotten her degree from Clown College.  

Rating: PG-13 for sex, expletives, and crude humor.
Running time: 99 minutes
Studio: Fox Searchlight Pictures

Take the Lead
••• 1/2
Ballroom Dancing Provides Answer To Juvenile Delinquency In Inspirational Bio-Pic

In 2005, Mad Hot Ballroom recounted the heartwarming story of an ethnically diverse set of New York public school students from humble backgrounds who learn some very valuable life lessons while being taught how to tango, waltz and rumba in preparation for an annual citywide competition. That feel-good documentary was ostensibly inspired by the work of Pierre Dulaine, the instructor who came up with the novel idea of introducing the kids to ballroom dancing in the first place.    
Emphasizing the development of confidence, self-esteem, manners and other critical survival skills which would serve them well in adulthood, Dulaine was so effective in bringing the studio sensibility to the classroom that his community outreach program has blossomed over the years to the point where it currently serves over 7,500 students in 60 schools. Take the Lead revisits the themes addressed by Mad Hot Ballroom, but this relatively melodramatic bio-pic ups the ante in terms of emotional intensity while shifting its focus away from the children to the ever elegant, dashing and passionate Pierre, as played by Antonio Banderas.
The ensemble cast features a host of very talented unknowns plus Alfre Woodard, Ray Liotta, and Rob Brown, who worked so well in a similar role opposite Sean Connery in Finding Forrester. The movie marks the feature film debut of Liz Friedlander, a veteran TV commercial and music video director who has previously worked with the likes of U2 and Blink 182.

 
Another first-timer, Dianne Houston, was responsible for the imaginative script, which earns high marks for interweaving a fascinating front story with a variety of lesser vignettes into a collection of touching tales of personal triumph. In addition, the picture treats the audience to plenty of delectable dance sequences which frequently contrast classical styles with present-day hip-hop.
That being said, Take the Lead is slightly tarnished by its somewhat simplistic recurring suggestion that the woes of the ghetto could be easily eliminated if everybody just took their cues from its perfectly polite protagonist. The film’s only other flaw is an overabundance of tight shots which deliberately avoid the skyline due to its attempting to make Toronto pass for New York. 
As for the plot, the fun starts the night Pierre just happens to be bicycling through the ‘hood in a tuxedo. He comes upon Rock (Brown) in the midst of trashing his high school principal’s (Woodard) car with a golf club in order to “Leave this bitch a little message” for having suspended him.
Pierre intervenes, but rather than report the incident to the cops, he instead decides to track down the owner. When the tall, dark and handsome gentleman pays a visit to the school, we get a good idea of the effect he has on women, as females entering the office inexplicably begin to swoon just because he holds the door for them.
Pierre sizes up the situation and impulsively offers to teach ballroom dancing at the dilapidated and obviously in crisis institution for free, yet the best deal he can cut with the principal is to baby sit the juvenile delinquents sent to detention after school. This suits the eternal optimist just fine, and thus begins the compassionate process of whipping some of the school’s worst miscreants into form for the big competition in the finale.   
Lean on Me meets Strictly Ballroom. Tough two-step replaces tough love.

Rating: PG-13 for profanity, violence and mature themes.
Running time: 108 minutes
Studio: New Line Cinema

Preaching to the Choir
•

Parable of the Prodigal Son Updated as a Hip-Hopera

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, even in Hollywood where studios are quick to make a cheap knock-off of any moneymaking movie. This is the case with Preaching to the Choir, which reads a lot like The Gospel, last year’s tale of redemption about a womanizing hip-hop star who returns to his roots and goes back to the church where he finds a girl to settle down with while whipping the choir into shape.
Except for being set in Harlem instead of Atlanta, Preaching to the Choir features the same Prodigal Son plotline. Yet, this hastily-mounted, sloppily-edited production is so poorly executed that it fails to measure up to the original in terms of quality.
The film revolves around the sibling rivalry between Wesley (Darien sills-Evans) and Teshawn (Billoah Greene), twin brothers who have taken distinctly divergent paths in life. Wesley has grown up to be a Baptist preacher, while Teshawn, aka Zulunatic, is riding a tidal wave of fame as a Grammy-winning gangsta’ rapper.
There is not much reason to critique this picture in depth, except to say that its dialogue is unnecessarily crude and lewd. Worse, it is unconvincing in terms of character development, and even its uninspiring musical sequences fall completely flat.
In addition, the movie squanders the services of an impressive supporting cast which includes Patti LaBelle, Tim Reid, and Eartha Kitt, who plays a sex-starved choir member. Kitt  propositions Zulunatic by whispering in his ear, “I haven’t had sex since 1972.” “See me after practice,” he responds lustfully. “Thank you,” she purrs back. 
Besides that ill-advised exchange, inappropriate subject matter abounds here, from Zulu’s frequently flirting with his brother’s fiancée (Rosa Arredondo) to a character name “Sh*tface” to lots of semi-illiterate gangstas roaming the ghetto without a functional conscience.    
A blasphemous blaxploit.

Rating: PG-13 for sex, expletives and drug references. 
Running time: 102 minutes
Studio: Code Black Entertainment

Police Beat
••••
Senegalese in Seattle

Z (Pape Sidy Niang) is a bicycle cop whose beat takes him all around a very scenic and crime-ridden section of Seattle. While on duty, this intrepid officer routinely encounters everything from prostitutes to prowlers to psychotics to muggers to scofflaws to shoplifters to homicidal maniacs to suicidal manic depressives to machete-wielding wife beaters.
While the average person might be rattled by a relentless exposure to so many disturbing sights, Z takes it all in stride. After all, he’s a recent immigrant from West Africa, and very happy just to be in America. Plus, although he’s a conservative Muslim, he is very attached to the white American girlfriend he met in school, Rachel (Anna Oxygen), a free-spirited, Earth Mother. 
Because the relatively cosmopolitan Z doesn’t share her interest in nature, Rachel sets off on a camping trip with a man who presumably is a Platonic friend. But in her absence, Z feels pangs of possessiveness, and embarks on a never-ending inner dialogue which interferes with his ability to focus on any job at hand.
So, instead of caring about bringing perpetrators to justice, he’s now wondering what Rachel is up to. Why doesn’t she return his calls? Has he been a bad lover? Z’s paranoia builds to a fever pitch, even as lawless chaos unfolds around him. 
This is all you need to know about Police Beat, an intelligent indie flick which is riveting, amusing, humorous and unpredictable from beginning clear through to its surprising conclusion. Kudos to star Pape Sidy Niang for delivering an endearing performance in his screen debut as the overwrought protagonist.
Proof positive that you can make a memorable gem on a very modest budget. 

Unrated
In English and Wolof with subtitles.
Running time: 90 minutes
Studio: Anthology Film Archives

Scary Movie 4
•••
Slapstick Galore in Zany Spoof of Horror Genre and More

The formerly flagging Scary Movie franchise, revived an installment ago after being placed in the capable hands of director David Zucker, continues to thrive in spite of the absence of originators Shawn, Marlon, and Keenen Ivory Wayans. Zucker, who along with his brother Jerry practically invented the parody genre in the first place, was the brains behind not only Airplane, but The Naked Gun series.
Scary Movie 4 not only features take-offs of recent horror flicks like War of the Worlds, The Grudge, Saw and The Village but it also mocks some readily recognizable skits based on Brokeback Mountain, Million Dollar Baby and other pictures which don’t exactly qualify as horror flicks.
Zucker relies on the services of an expanded principal cast plus a boatload of celebrity cameos to keep his clever combination of slapstick, sight gags, and bodily-function humor unfolding at a rapid fire pace. Among the Scary Movie alums reprising their roles are co-stars Anna Faris and Regina Hall, as well as Anthony Anderson, Kevin Hart, Chris Elliott, Leslie Nielsen, Carmen Electra, Charlie Sheen and Simon Rex.
Among the newcomers to the ensemble are Bill Pullman, Craig Bierko, Molly Shannon, DeRay Davis, Michael Madsen, TV-shrink Dr. Philip McGraw, NBA All-Star Shaquille O’Neal, James Earl Jones and hip-hop artists Andre 3000 and Chingy. And don’t be fooled, a few of the famous faces here are played by impostors, such as the look-a-likes delivering decent impressions of Mike Tyson, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Katie Holmes and Oprah Winfrey.  
To appreciate this film fully, it would help to have seen the movies mentioned above, but all that’s really necessary is a rudimentary understanding of each one’s prevailing theme. The gruesome gags begin with a spoof of Saw in which Dr. Phil and Shaq are chained to the floor of a dungeon and one of them has to saw off a leg in order for them to escape. Enough said about that hilarious opening, rather than spoil it.
Next, it’s Sheen reprising a scene from The Grudge, but as a suicidal soul who mistakenly overdoses on Viagra instead of sleeping pills, before toppling off a terrace due to an imbalance caused by his sudden tumescence. Then there’s the Brokeback moment shared by Anderson with the shivering cowboy he invites into to his hillside tent with the assurances that “I ain’t on the down-low or nothing.” The big joke in this case comes when he reaches between the surprised guy’s thighs to retrieve a bag of cashews, explaining, “I’m just trying to grab some nuts.”
In perhaps the picture’s funniest sequence, Mike Tyson goes ape during a prize fight and proceeds to chew off the ears of almost everybody in attendance. Eighty year-old Nielsen does what must be the first nude scene of his career as a nit-witted President of the United States. Suspiciously similar to you-know-who, he also decides to finish reading the rest of a children’s tale called “Rumpelforeskin” with a classroom of grade school kids rather than respond to the fact that country is under attack by aliens.
As you might have suspected by now, there’s precious little linkage from one sketch to the next, as the scriptwriters never bothered to ground the production with the rudiments of a plot. With the storyline rendered irrelevant, this means that Scary Movie 4 is an experience best savored from moment to moment. So, there’s no need to try to make sense of any developments or to be upset when a joke falls flat. For another one, which might just work for you, will be waiting right around the cinematic corner.
A low-brow comedy chock full of cheap laughs.

Rating: PG-13 for profanity, sexuality, crude humor and horror violence.
Running time: 83 minutes
Studio: The Weinstein Company

Sisters in Law
••••
Abuse of African Females Focus of Feminist Documentary

Prosecutor Vera Ngassa and Judge Beatrice Ntuba are determined to bring rapists, wife beaters and child abusers to justice. What is remarkable about their mission is that they are members of a mostly Muslim community in Cameroon’s city of Kumba, a place where women are considered second-class citizens. Thus, the frightened victims of a variety of abuse find themselves under intense pressure to remain silent.
Sisters in Law chronicles the valiant efforts of these two intrepid Black women to coax incriminating testimony out of reluctant witnesses in order to put some pretty sick felons behind bars. With a camera rolling right in the courtroom, we get to see some fairly heartbreaking cases, such as the one involving a sexual assault on a young virgin by a neighbor who claims that the sex was consensual and that she was a prostitute.
Although the 25 year-old creep gives the prepubescent adolescent intimidating stares, she bravely recounts how he bound and gagged her before raping her repeatedly. Fortunately, Judge Ntuba is not swayed by his obvious lies, and she orders him shipped off to the penitentiary summarily.
Another case involves a badly battered housewife who helps set a precedent by making her husband the first person in town to be incarcerated for spousal abuse in over 17 years. Generating a range of emotions from compassion to outrage to satisfaction, Sisters in Law packs a powerful punch by exposing the evils of a patriarchal culture inclined to look the other way whenever men oppress women.
A first-rate female empowerment flick.

Unrated
Running time: 104 minutes
Studio: Women Make Movies