By Emily Mukasa

During his 34 years in Boston, Mass. and considerable journeys to Europe, Congo-born Dr. Kimbwandende Kia Bunseki Fu-Kiau could not help but observe the difference in behavior between children in developed countries and those in underdeveloped ones.
After 15 years of teaching Boston jail inmates, most of whom were below 25 years of age, the 73-year-old scholar of African philosophy and traditions concluded that many of those young adults’ problems started earlier in life, as a result of disobedience. In Fu-Kiau’s opinion, many of them would not have ended up in prison if their parents had taken charge and handled the children’s lives differently.
Many problems facing not only white and Black American children, but also African children in the U.S., originate from either the parents’ child-rearing methods or the children’s environment, noted the educator, who studied and researched extensively in Congo as well as earning several degrees in America including a doctorate in education and community development.
Compared with Africa, he sees more tension between parents and children in the West, which is why children and teenagers tend to be more disobedient, he said.
As he observed African children in the U.S more closely, he noticed they disobeyed almost every adult in the community – including their parents. This observation motivated him in 1989 to publish his book entitled, Kindezi: The Kongo Art of Babysitting, which explains how to raise and empower children.
“One of the 10 most important jobs in the world is raising children,” Fu-Kiau said during a recent visit to Denver. “In developing nations, children have a strong bond with the parents because the parents are at all times with the offspring during the ages of 1 to 3, and in many cases the child is raised by the community.”
The author, whose other books include African Cosmology of the Bantu-Kongo and Self-Healing Power and Therapy: Old Teachings from Africa, is aware that industrialization changed the amount of time mothers in America spend with their children, but he strongly advises them not to neglect a child by leaving him or her in a babysitter’s care at an extremely young age. Some parents in developed countries are busy from the time the child is born, so the child associates more with the babysitter than the parent, he said.
Fu-Kiau, who has been invited to 40 states to present child-rearing lectures, advises politicians in the Western world to allow pregnant mothers at least a three-year paid maternity leave, until they are back to work.
“The first three years are so important to a child’s life,” he remarked. “After those years, the child can be separate from the parents because their strength, character and self- esteem are already built.” 
He points to the widely-known African philosophy that the village raises a child, which contrasts dramatically with the way children are brought up in the West – off limits to any adult but their parents.
“A person might try to advise a child in America today about something, and if he or she is not lucky, that child will say; ‘You are not my mother. You have no power to talk to me,’” commented Fu-Kiau, adding that in these circumstances, adults eventually decide to say nothing to the child who in turn becomes even more detached from society.
Children who are part of a community tend to be disciplined; therefore, they behave well towards other people and doors of success always open up for them, he explained.
“Like in Africa, a child of the community knows everyone in the community, and sees everyone of their mother’s or grandmother’s age as their mother and grandmother, which leads to profound respect towards people they see in the community,” Fu-Kiau said.  “In Africa, there is no age for ending discipline.”
The community takes care of children since they are born within it, and so the child will sincerely take care of the community, too, he elaborated.
As a founder of the first indigenous research centers in Africa, Fu-Kiau denies the notion that Africans and African Americans are different people, and advises them to work together for the sake of Black children.
While some African-American people have tried to bond with Africans, especially on the political level, he believes it would help both parents and children if the bonds increased.
“Let African children play with African-American children, and go to the same schools. We are not different if we start building our bond,” he said.
“One fulfilling way of understanding people is through understanding their culture and how they live,” said Fu-Kiau. “Understanding African culture means understanding the language. Maybe these languages might hide the keys that will solve many of the puzzles that can not be solved in life today.”
“Why don’t we uphold the strength that other cultures portray? As Black people, we have to start seeing ourselves the way the Jews in America see the Jews in Israel, and the British in America see the ones in England,” he explained.
Fu-Kiau insists that there is no better person than one who knows the value of different cultures.
“Knowing different cultures is effective, because persisting to know people from only your culture is very dangerous,” he said. “The more we open ourselves to the world, the more peaceful and balanced we become, no matter what the world says.”
The educator advises Black children and parents never to forget their cultures, because it makes them who they are and what they stand for.
 “We may adopt the Western way of living, but it still does not make us what we are,” he added.
“There are some things we can not change in us, and there are things that can help us be, powerful and successful,” Fu-Kiau concluded. “If we do not look back and carry along the good ideals in our cultures, we are neglecting it and enslaving ourselves.”

Return To Top